Numb
by Leo's gurl
Summary: Mikey is dying and relives his past of failure and hurt. SongFic.


Numb

Mikey was dying. A stab wound to the heart. A wound... that he took for his big brother. He could feel his brother holding him in his arms. Also, he could feel his brother's tears blending in with the pouring rain. As he lay there dying, Mikey looked back on his life full of failure and misery.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless lost under the surface_

A twelve year old Mikey pounded his fists in frustration. He and his brothers had just finished with their daily training, and again he had messed up. He knew that he tried his hardest but apparently that wasn't good enough. He remembered the looks that Master Splinter and his brothers had given him. It was a look of disappointment.

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

Mikey was training with Leo. Master Splinter thought that maybe Mikey just needed some guidence from his older brother. As much as Mikey loved his oldest brother, he didn't want to train with him because he knew that Leo was a perfectionest. But not wanting to disappoint Master Splinter and his family again, Mikey went against his gut feeling and started his training with Leo.

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

Mikey was training with Leo one day and he realized that he was completly exhausted. Not wanting to show any weakness, Mikey continued on without complain. When Leo told him to perform the hidden tiger technique, Mikey was happy to oblige. He had been secretly training and knew that he had perfected the technique. Ignoring his body's cries of agony, Mikey began to position himself just right. When it was time to leap however, Mikey's body just collapsed in utter exhaustion. Mikey looked up at Leo in hopes of forgivness but all he saw was Leo shaking his head in disapproval. Then he turned his back on Mikey, and walked away.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I've become so tired so much more aware_

By now Mikey's body was shutting down and he knew it was only a matter of time. He could barely feel his brother holding him now and he wondered why it had to end like this.

_I'm becoming this all I want to do _

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

Mikey was in the lair reading one of his favorite comic books when Leo appeared out of nowhere and snatched it from his grasp. "Hey give it back!" said Mikey, trying to grab the comic book from his brother's grasp. Leo shook his head. "Sorry Mikey, no comics until you can perform the hidden tiger technique flawlessly." Mikey groaned. His body still ached from his morning sessions with Master Splinter and Leo. All he wanted to do was kick back and read his comics in peace. But he knew that wasn't going to happen unless he did as he was told. He slowly got off the couch and got into posistion. It was going to be a horrible day.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me_

_Holding to tightly afraid to lose control_

_Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Is falling apart right in front of you_

Leo is holding his little brother closer and tighter now. It took him two painful years to realize that he had failed...as a brother.

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

_And every second I waste is more than I can take_

"Leo..." Leo jumped. He looked down at his little brother and it made his heartbreak. "Yeah Mikey?" "I'm sorry... that I... didn't turn out the way... you wanted me to." Lightning danced across the sky and Leo shook his head. "No Mikey, I am the one who should be apologizing. I was trying to make you the best ninja possiable but in the end I ended up turning into a horrible big brother." This time it was Mikey's turn to shake his head. "You're... the best brother...that anyone...could ask for...and Leo..." Mikey brought his hand up to his brother's face and started to caress it gently.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I've become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do _

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

" I love you." The thunder crashed and Mikey closed his eyes, and his hand fell lifelessly to the ground. Leo's eyes widened in shock. "Mikey...Mikey...MIKEY!" he cried bring his brother's lifeless up to his chest and placing his head ontop of Mikey's. But it was no use, Mikey was gone.

_And I know_

_I may end up failing too_

_But I know _

_You were just like me with someone disappointed in you_

Two days later, Mikey was laid to rest in his favorite part of the sewer. Casey had made a wooden cross with Mikey's name and the short years of his life carved on it. All of Mikey's friends and family were there. April had bought a bouquet of black roses and placed them ontop of Mikey's grave. She then broke down and cried. Casey walked over to her and escorted her back home. All his family stood around his grave, trying to comfort one another. Don was in Raph's arms weeping openly and Master Splinter remained silent and grieving. As for Leo, he just stood there staring at the grave of his littlest brother. The one he had killed from the inside out.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I've become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

It took Leo 16 long years to realize that the one person who loved him the most, was the person he ended up hurting more than anyone else could. As the hours grew longer, the small group of mourners slolwly left one by one until Leo was the only one left. He stood there and fingered a rare blue rose that Mikey would have loved if he were still alive. He knelt down beside the grave and placed it by the black roses April had brung. He then bowed his head and said a small prayer. After he was finished, he stood up and started to leave when a small breeze came out of nowhere. Leo looked around and for a moment, thought he saw Mikey standing there smiling. Leo rubbed his eyes and when he opened them again, saw nothing. "Must of been my imagination." said Leo walking away. "Just promise to never let your imagination get the best of you." came a voice out of nowhere. Leo turned around and smiled. "I won't Mikey I won't, oh and Mikey, I love you too."

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_Is everything what you want me to be _

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_Is everything what you want me to be_

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT or the song Numb by Lincoln Park. It is just a story I wrote for a friend.


End file.
